Brothers - They farted, peed in the snow and unsnapped my bra!

Brothers - They farted, peed in the snow and unsnapped my bra! 

They farted, spit, peed in the snow, unsnapped my bra when walking past me (I honestly don't get that skill, but it is a skill) and teased me to the ends of the earth.  That was just the beginning of it...they happened to be good looking guys, and some of my girlfriends thought so too.

One fine day I had some girlfriends over for a sleepover. A bunch of giddy seventeen-year-olds, we had made popcorn and were going to watch a chick flick.  I noticed one of them leaning on the counter in the kitchen batting her eyelashes at my brother. He had one hand in his pocket and was leaning into her, "Oh, ya! Hahaha. You're funny." 

I grabbed my friends arm and announced, "Just a second, we need to talk."

I pulled her into the other room and growled, "No! Seriously he will use you!! He is not into you and just wants to make out with you. No way will you be his girlfriend. I know him...no way!"

She cooed back, "No, he likes me; you misjudge your brother."

I rolled my eyes and before the end of the evening the two of
them had driven off into the sunset, ditching me entirely.

My brothers loved educating me; I heard all about it the next day.

When I saw my girlfriend at school, I was cross, "He never called you again right?"

"Hmmm no, how do you know anything anyway?"

"Guys talk just as much as girls. I told you so!"

That friendship was never the same. It wasn't the only time that happened in my teen years.

In my first months of University, I asked a guy why no one flirted with me. "They don't know my brothers so they can't be scared of them, what am I doing wrong?" The guy, a good friend, told me, "You wear an invisible sign saying, I get it! I am not dumb. Be serious with me or F.....off! Guys don't want that at a party Ali." 

I can proudly say, thanks boys,  job well done.  I was never naive with guys! Because of you I lost a few friends, laughed a lot, learned that farts really do throw flames and will burn the hair on your butt and I was educated! 

–Allison Ochs, Social Worker M.S.W. , Coach, Expat, Mother of three, Wife