A Plain White Kid With No Scars, Why Was She Adopted?

A Plain White Kid With No Scars, Why Was She Adopted?

Two days ago my son posted a picture of us on Reddit that started trending. Reading some of the posts, I laughed. People kept mentioning a wheelchair and how if we had a kid in a wheelchair it would be complete. Well....there isn't a wheelchair, but there is

- a severe limp from polio,
- braces and health issues from spina bifida, 
- yes some saw it right one of my sisters has a form of dwarfism,
 - and cerebral palsy

 So joke as they might...they almost had it right.

My little sister, who has spina bifida and wears many scars from operations was about six or seven when we got a call from my aunt. She was having a hard time having babies; She did what so many people do, she adopted. 

It was hot outside, and we were on the patio lounging in the shade of the trees. We heard our Mom on the phone and could tell she was excited. She came running out and exclaimed, "Paula has a baby, she adopted!" My little sister looked up, "What color is the baby?" At first, silence followed, as we waited to see how Mom would deal with the question. As always she kept it simple, "The baby is white." My sister continued with her questions, "And so where are her scars?" My Mom certainly wasn't expecting this but answered, "She doesn't have any scars." My little sister looked even more perplexed, and with a little sassy tone and defiance she placed her hands on her hips, "A plain white kid with no scars, why was she adopted?"

Her question made sense, scars to my sister were things you could see, handicaps that were visible and the 'only' reason for being adopted in her mind was her scars. 

Years have passed, my cousin is a grown up, and I found out, just like all of us, she has scars too; we just can't see them and even though she seemed like a perfect baby to my little sister....she wasn't.....perfect doesn't exist. 

Our family has always sparked a lot of discussions; you can see our differences and some of us wear our imperfections for everyone to see. My Parents have done one thing well, they taught us about the lack of perfection and to own who we are and wear it with pride.  

—Allison Ochs Social Worker M.S.W. , Coach, Expat, Mother of three, Wife