Last year, I talked with a parent who had decided to let an 11-year-old download Snapchat. The reasoning was simple. The parent explained

"My neighbor has a good kid and he is bright. He let his kid have it, so I guess it is okay; what do you think, Allison? "

I took a deep breath and started asking some questions. 

• Have you been on Snapchat?

• Did you read an article about the dangers beforehand?

• Does your child use Snapchat in their room, alone?

• Did you disable Snap Map?

The answer was no to all of the above. The parent looked worried and realized that they might have jumped into this decision without being properly informed. This guide is to help you understand what Snapchat is and what you need to know. 

Age limits

Snapchat users must be 13 years old. In the example above, a child who was 11 was given access to the application. I would not recommend this as eleven is clearly too young an age for this. Common Sense Media rates Snapchat as 16+, and most experts say tweens are not ready for social media, at least not without consistent parental guidance. 

Why is the rating so high if the app is about sharing silly pictures?

Anyone using Snapchat can easily be exposed to age-inappropriate content, self-harm videos, bullying, sexual predators, and marketing ploys such as quizzes that will collect your child's data. There is much more than just sharing silly pictures going on in this part of the digital world.

So what do kids do on Snapchat? How does it work?

Most adults find Snapchat confusing and hard to navigate. Photos are the mode of communication here. There are fun photo-editing tools that are adored. Once you have taken your picture or a snap, you can edit it and send it to your friends or add it to your story. The images and messages are often set to delete, which is one of the favorite features. You can also add it to your Snap Map, which displays the location. This is a rather scary feature of Snapchat. There is also an explore page where children can explore snaps and stories of people they do not know. 

Snapchat, of course, also provides texting and group chats. If you want to understand this app, sit down with a teen and ask them to show you and teach you because it is difficult to understand without the visuals. I feel every educator of teens, every school administrator, and every parent should take the time to do this. 

Kids think the messages disappear, but do they really?

It looks like they do, they disappear in the app, but in reality, they don't. 

Children and teens need to understand that nothing online disappears, not even the pictures they take for their vault or private photos within the app. Please inform them of this and keep reminding them about it often.  

What are some of the biggest dangers?

• Privacy and security. You can end up with a lot of people following you and collecting your data. 

• Nudes are a problem. Even if your child does not send a nude picture, someone else will end up sending them a nude or even links to porn. I don't know any teens who have never seen inappropriate content. It is part of the app and its problem. This means you need to have judgement free conversations with your children about this kind of content.

• Kids tend to be meaner as the messages disappear, and they feel they can't get caught. Explain to your child the importance of keeping it kind online. Talk about this often and set an example.

• Children believe the messages and images disappear. They don't. So make that clear.

Snapchat is a also enormously time-consuming! Kids feel like they have to be involved in snap streaks and stories. This is an added time-pressure element that can stress children and put extra pressure on them. 

My teen still wants this app; how do I monitor them?

There is no way to see your child's activity in this app. This is one of the reasons for the 16+ age rating. My experience is that this is where bullying, sexting, and a lot of mean behavior happens. 

Your biggest tool will be the privacy setting within this app. You can help your child choose

• who can see their snaps

• who can see their location (Maybe you choose not to allow Snap Maps)

• who can view their story

Discussion is key

You will need to have conversations with your child about all of their media. It would be best to ask them to show you what they like, some of the features, and how they use the app. You should download it and learn how to use it yourself. It would help if you also continued to ask your child how they are doing and spend time with them without screens, discussing friendship, school, life, romance, and anything else they might be interested in. At this age, they might act like they don't care, but they care that you are present and willing to put your phone, your computer, or your book down and spend time with them.

Good luck.

–Allison Ochs, social pedagogue/worker, author, mother of three, wife

Photo by Unsplash

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