I Know, I don't get it! Covid-19 and Teens

Dear Students,

My name is Allison Ochs, I am a social worker, teacher and education consultant.

Those of you who have heard me speak will know that my workshops are relevant, thought-provoking, fun, and that I like to tell stories.

I know how exceptional the situation is right now. I also know it is particularly hard to be away from friends. What teen wants to hang out with Mom and Dad and siblings non-stop? Most of you will be happy to spend some family time but miss your friends. Thank goodness we can chat, have video calls, and use our favorite apps. This would not have been an option when I was a teen back in the 80s.

 I have spent a lot of time thinking of my teen years and what I would have done with a phone. I don’t by any means think I would have been perfect. Let me share an excerpt from my book “Would I have sexted back in the 80s?”:

 Thinking back, had I had access to a smartphone, I might have taken some ridiculously sexy pictures. If no one had stopped me, I might even have posted them on social media. I would have looked good, too, but without any understanding of what effect my pictures might have had on others;...

I just want to remind you of a few things that came to mind after my teen at home scoffed at me this week, “You are with your husband. I am separated from my boyfriend. You never experienced this!” She is right. I have never lived this and I am with my husband. I get the temptations to do things online you wouldn’t normally do and that you have been taught are risky, but let me remind you of some of the guidelines we discussed:

• If you are in a relationship, I know that you miss your partner. I know it might be tempting, but sending nudes is not safe. Just because some of us are on lockdown, it does not make sending a nude any safer. Remember the levels of sexting we talked about and the dangers of sending images or videos (including FaceTime).

• Memes can make us laugh (It is great that we have them right now!). Please make sure you understand the gravity of the situation and keep your memes respectful. There are people suffering in different ways and at a different stage of isolation and possibly having to deal with things you might not be thinking of. What seems funny to you could be extremely hurtful to someone else.

• Some of the new “corona dances” on TikTok are informative and cute while others are disrespectful and lead to misinformation. Keep it respectful and check your facts!

• There are a lot of fun initiatives going on online, but be critical of news and new initiatives like group hangouts with people who have similar interests. Use your common sense.

• PLEASE cover your camera if you are in your room alone and don’t want to be filmed.

• Remember that Snapchat or any ”disappearing” platform doesn’t really disappear;

• Be nice to everyone. Some of your classmates might be lonely or stuck at home in very difficult conditions. Side chats ”bashing” someone, snarky remarks and ”jokes” can be more hurtful than normal as we are all in a difficult situation. Reach out to others, help your classmates, add someone you would normally not include to a game and practice empathy.

• Shut your devices off for part of every day and play cards or board games, talk, and spend time together as a family.

• Get some form of exercise every day.

If anyone has any questions and needs help managing a sticky situation, I hope you will reach out to Mom or Dad or a trusted adult. If you can’t find a trusted adult and you have an urgent question, you can send me a mail at allison.ochs@editcm.com. I will answer you.

Best wishes,

Allison

–Allison Ochs, Social Pedagogue/Worker, Author, Expat, Mother of three, Wife

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