Disagreements - Argue with me, please

With ten siblings, disagreements were a large part of growing up in our fun vibrant, loud home. We sparred over dish duty, bedrooms, bathroom times, friends, food and more.  Honestly, you name it; it made it to the table in form of discussion at our home. Sometimes it was a friendly discussion and other times a full-blown debate with emotions rising and ebbing as my parents kept us in line. 

Being at the younger end of this family, I sat and watched in awe as discussions and debates flourished. We were encouraged to disagree and to keep our wits while doing so. It is a skill to get emotional and passionate about something without getting mad. This important skill is often overlooked in parenting and frowned upon by some because arguing has a bad rep. 

If kids rarely see an argument, they won't know how to manage conflict. Conflict and discussions are essential for creativity. Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Susan B. Anthony went to bat over how to win the right to vote. Creative groups in companies get together and disagree respectfully in brainstorming sessions. We cannot learn without opposing, listening and pushing each other further which ultimately results in learning. Can you imagine a group of scientists not questioning and doubting one another, not challenging each other every step of the way? I can't.

Don't tell kids not to argue but to do so respectfully. 

When someone takes the time to argue with me, I know they respect me or at least care about what I am saying. Otherwise, they would just walk away. 

–Allison Ochs, Social Worker M.S.W. , Coach, Expat, Mother of three, Wife

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Photo by Ken Treloar on Unsplash