It's okay to disagree

Let your teen start telling their own story

With eleven kids at home, there was a sense of hectic frenzy on any given day. Someone was always coming or going, and arguments erupted regularly. Some of my siblings had trouble passing school; one of them was kicked out, arrested and well... was just going through a rough spot. 

My parents stayed calm through the majority of all of these crises. When one brother was kicked out of University, my Mom was disappointed, but she said, "It is his life, he will have to live with the consequences. He will come around. " And guess what? He did– eventually he graduated and is now very successful with a beautiful family.

When I was nineteen, I pulled a real head-spinner on them. I was an excellent student, at University with every card in my pocket and then I dropped out to follow love. My brother insisted, "How can you let her go?"

My Mom breathed heavily,  "She will figure it out, she is nineteen, I can't stop her." 

My parents could have made it harder for me, but they knew they needed to let me go. It could have been a flop, but it wasn't. My Mom asked me as I was packing my things, "What's the worst thing that can happen Ali? Can you live with that?" The answer was yes, and so I dared. Try giving this kind of confidence to your teen, let them spread their wings. They may fall as they learn to fly but let them create their own path which may not be the one you had imagined for them. 

–Allison Ochs, Social Worker M.S.W. , Coach, Expat, Mother of three, Wife

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